In 2014 my younger sister Kirsten passed away. It was a hard time for me and my family, so I left diving for about a month, just to be with my family.It wasnt difficult to turn my back on diving at that time. I wasnt really thinking about anything other than being with my family. We were just trying to be there for each other and help each other move past her passing; not necessarily get through it -- because you never really get through it -- but just being there for each other when we needed it.It was hard even thinking about ever doing anything again; life isnt the same. It feels like time stops and a part of you doesnt want to keep moving forward and you dont want to do anything. How can you do anything without that person there, when theyve been there your whole life?I couldnt comprehend ever being able to keep going without Kirsten there. I didnt really think about diving at all.I couldnt imagine moving forward or doing anything after her passing; I just felt really confused. I feel like part of you dies, and youre not the same anymore. But to have something to help you take your mind off it and give you a reason to keep going, is really important, I think.After about a month out of diving, I decided to go back and see how Id go. Realistically, I started using it as a distraction; a way to keep my mind off things and almost help me get through her passing.I wasnt really thinking about competitions. I just wanted to get back into doing something that would keep my mind from constantly thinking...It was really good to put everything into something again.You need a lot of concentration in diving, so at training it was hard for little things outside of diving to creep into my mind. Ive always been a really focused athlete, so diving became a place where I could give my mind a bit of a break.Kirstens passing is always going to be hard; theres never a time when Im not thinking about it, and sometimes its really hard to pull myself out of that dark place. You want to be there for your family, but its hard.Returning to diving wasnt necessarily hard, because every day is hard. At the beginning, diving was a break for my mind to stop thinking about some of those dark thoughts; everything was a bit of a struggle, but it was nice to have something else to think about.From that time in my life through to now, and probably forever ... its just been hard in general, and I dont think it will ever get easier.I dont know if the way I grieved was the right or wrong way, but I can understand why people bury themselves in work because I feel that Ive almost done that by going back to diving. It gave me an appreciation for diving because I sort of understand that life is short, but at the same time I dont know if thats just me trying to make my way through it.I had the time with my family, but it almost seemed as though we decided to go back to the things we were doing. I dont necessarily think that period of grieving time is over; I feel like we almost havent dealt with it.I find it really hard to think about it still; if I think about it too much I find it really hard to deal with. So diving has become my distraction; maybe that isnt a good thing, but for my family and me that was the only way I could keep going. I dont think I was going to be able to function otherwise if I didnt keep myself moving or throwing myself into projects. If it wasnt diving, it would have been something else just to keep my mind occupied.But were all still happy; everything we still achieve -- me with my diving, and weightlifting for my brother and sister -- were really happy for each other. But I think weve all definitely used the things that we love to help keep us moving forward.When I go to competitions, I definitely feel like Kirsten helps me through. I dont really believe in seeing any signs of her, but I just know in the heart that shes there looking out for me and the family.There are some moments, when good things happen in the family, when my siblings perform well in competitions, I just really wish I could share them with her -- not just for me, but for my family.For my family and me, we have little things that help us remember her.Kirsten had these stuffed bunnies that she loved; they were really soft, and she never used to like people touching them -- because she wanted them in pristine condition. We all have matching ones now; I think I have about three of them. I keep two in pristine condition, and one of them I take around with me everywhere.I keep a little photo frame of a picture of Kirsten and me, and they -- the frame and the toy -- sit on my bedside table, and I take them everywhere I go.Theyll both definitely be joining me in Rio. 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The Islanders dealt Thomas Vanek to the Montreal Canadiens after less than a year on Long Island. Meanwhile, the Oilers dealt long-time sniper Ales hemsky to the Ottawa Senators on Wednesday for a fifth-round pick in 2014 and a third-rounder in 2015.DENVER -- The Colorado Avalanche agreed to a one-year deal with forward Mikhail Grigorenko on Wednesday.The 22-year-old Grigorenko had six goals and 21 assists in 74 games for Colorado last season. He was selected by Buffalo in the second round of the 2012 draft and traded to Colorado on June 26, 2015, as part of the deal that sent RRyan OReilly to the Sabres.ddddddddddddrigorenko is from Khabarovsk, Russia, and helped his country to three medals at the world junior championships: silver in 2012, bronze in 13 and another bronze in 14. ' ' '